Do you sometimes notice that you can’t stand your lover, parent, sibling, child or someone else you are in a close relationship with? Sometimes we think it is our role to be loving in a relationship. But all relationships ebb and flow. We have mixed feelings about all relationships- there is the good and the bad. Mother Teresa reflects her mixed feelings about the responsibilities from God in this quote “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”
If you notice yourself struggling to find the good, you might want to check in with the following three suggestions:
- Normalize. Rather than judge yourself for having ‘dark’ feelings, give yourself compassion and normalize that every relationship is filled with complex feelings.
- Check in with the needs of the other. Could the other person want more of your undivided attention? More affection? Sometimes, if we listen to the other person and hear their needs the relationship starts to feel sweeter.
- Check in with your own needs. Are you in need of some rest and relaxation? Are you stuck in a mental and emotional downward spiral and need some helping getting ‘unstuck.’ Seek what you need so you can show that you are committed to not only your relationship with the other person but also committed to your relationship with yourself.